How do you have a baby and get back to business? Let Bey Show you…
Beyoncé on stage at Revel for its Premiere weekend in the first of four shows scheduled for this weekend. Photo: Kevin Mazur
Just four months after giving birth to the beautiful, Blue Ivy Carter, Beyoncé has done it again. She has inspired not just women, but mothers a like to keep moving in the direction of your goals and that starting a family should not stop you from doing things that you love. This has been my motto and I am grateful God continues to inspire me and always on new and greater level! I think I have to agree with her hubby that she is undoubtedly, “the best performer in the world. Period.”
Watch video as she prepares for her Revel Performance in Atlantic City, NJ and clips from her 1st performance at Revel since giving birth below to see why!
I missed the Whitney Houston tribute at the Billboard Music awards, but thank goodness for YouTube! I had a knot in my throat the entire time… She will be missed! Enjoy John Legend singing, “The Greatest Love of All” and Jordin Sparks singing, “I Will Always Love You” Just beautiful!
Bullyingis unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose. ~stopbullying.gov
I have been meaning to blog on bullying for a while now, especially since I took my kids to see the movie Bully on my son’s birthday last month. Before you think I made him choose that movie, he actually saw the trailer and a few other movie trailers and he decided as well as my other kids, that he wanted to see Bully too!
As we sat and watch this movie, my kids were at first quiet and then they were sad and then they asked questions and wanted to help these kids stand up for themselves. None the less the conversation once the movie was over was priceless. I had some “I just wanted to sock one of the bully’s” As I had to remind them you don’t beat bullying by continuing that behavior. Then the “It’s so sad to see people treat people so unfairly.” And the comments kept coming, too many to list, but I was happy that my kids got it and were advocates for anti-bullying.
As of late I was able to catch Dr. Phil‘s bullying episode “The Rhode Island Girl.” It was a truly sad case of bullying of a young girl who could have been killed because she had a metal plate in her head. Dr. Phil did his usual no-nonsense speeches to the bully and in this case I think the girl realized what she had done was wrong about a half hour into the show and broke down. A true testament that people often forget is that hurt people hurt people. That little girl clearly needed something she wasn’t getting from her mom and her mom didn’t know how to give or deal with this because she didn’t know what to do or how to handle her daughters behavior.
In order for any behavior to begin to change, you have to deal with the root of the problem and when you don’t deal with the root you will continue to see the problem resurface no matter how bad you may feel about something. Alexis, the little girl who was bullying needed security, so she didn’t feel the need to make someone fight her because they “supposedly liked her ex-boyfriend?” Also where were the dads in this scenario? what is that relationship like? And giving the mom the tools she needs so that she can raise a young lady who is confident, secure and one who knows how to use her words when trying to express herself instead of resorting to anger and hostility which was becoming a habit for her. These are all things that take practice and do not happen over night. They begin with the relationships you have with your children while they are younger, that many try to repair after they are broken. Not understanding that these issues can be prevented and or less problematic when people build there parent-child relationships as they go instead of coasting through the younger years and then trying to fix a problem later in the tween/teen years.
It is becoming evident that the more the parents are involved the less likely we will hear stories like these. I pray the bullying stops because no one deserves such treatment and I would love to see a documentary done on the other side of the story(the person who is bullying). Talking to those parents and those kids being held accountable and to see what issues are going on there, because truly there is a need to deal with what is starting the problems.
Here are some tips for kids and parents to implement when dealing with bullying at school:
*If there is ever a weapon involve, sexual assault, hate crimes notify the police immediately!
1) The first time it happens: Talk to your kids about informing their teacher of the behavior taking place.
2) Still a problem? Parents call or go to the school and talk with the teacher & principal.
3) Still a problem? It is time to set up a meeting between parents and the school.
Yes they absolutely can! I was a bit skeptic myself because as a family of six my grocery bill is always pushing and exceeding $300 a week at times. I remember when I spent maybe $75 a week on groceries but that was with one kid. So how can a family of four survive off of $124 a week in groceries (the amount of food stamps that are provided to a family of that size) and will it be healthy? This was a challenge that Mario Batali and his family were up for and you will be pleasantly surprised to see what one of the meals were. I was very impressed with the time it took to whip this meal up, because Lord knows morning mad dashes can not be held up with a long gourmet meal! I was also impressed that his Black Bean Egg Taco was $.79 a piece, that he made on The Chew today! It is healthy and did I mention it was $.79 a taco? Here is the recipe:
Mario Batali’s Black Bean and Egg Tacos
skill level ~Easy
time ~1-30min
servings ~6
cost ~$
Contributed by: Mario Batali
ingredients
1 can Black Beans (drained)
1 bunch Scallions
1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
Salt
Freshly Ground Pepper
2 Eggs
1/2 Cup Shredded Cheddar Cheese
Hot Sauce
12 Fresh Corn Tortillas (warmed)
kitchen ware
Griddle Pan
Chef’s Knife
Measuring Spoons
Measuring Cup (set)
Mixing Bowl
Skillet
steps ingredients per step instructions
1 bunch Scallions
Slice the scallions, keeping the greens and whites separate.
1 can Black Beans (drained)
2 Eggs
Salt
Freshly Ground Pepper
In a large mixing bowl combine black beans, eggs, scallion whites and a pinch of salt and pepper.
1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
In a skillet over medium high heat, add the olive oil and once hot, add the bean and egg mixture..
1/2 Cup Shredded Cheddar Cheese
Hot Sauce
Continue stirring as eggs cook. Add a couple of dashes of hot sauce, to taste, and the cheese. Cook until cheese has just melted.
12 Fresh Corn Tortillas (warmed)
Warm tortillas on griddle. Divide the egg and bean mixture evenly among the tortillas, topping with the scallion greens to serve.
Fifteen years ago I experienced a joy that I couldn’t put into words if I tried. I experienced an instant love that I realized God has for us… unconditional. As a mom, I would do anything for my kids. Not only do I see how my mom did this for me, but it was only after I became a mom did I truly understand. To all of you moms out there remember: “Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs…since the payment is pure love.” ~M.B. Vermont HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!
Sybrina Fulton, the mother of Trayvon Martin, will be spending her first Mother’s Day with out her son. In efforts to make a difference, she released this Mother’s Day video so that other mothers do not have to experience what she did. Hopefully this will help prompt lawmakers to change gun laws, so other children are not lost to senseless violence. See how you can help below. In the PSA released she states:
“This will be my first Mother’s Day without my son, Trayvon. I know it will be hard, but my faith, family and friends will pull me through. On Sunday, I’m going to say a prayer for other mothers across America who share this unbearable pain. Just like me, 30,000 mothers lost their children this year to senseless gun violence. Nobody can bring our children back, but it would bring us comfort if we can help spare other mothers the pain that we will feel on Mother’s Day and every day for the rest of our lives. I’m asking you to join Florida by calling upon the governor of your state to re-examine similar stand your ground laws throughout the nation to keep our families safe. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Happy Mother’s Day.”
You can help make a difference by contacting your governor to re-examine the 25 “Stand Your Ground” type of laws across the country. For more information go to: SecondChanceOnShootFirst.org
Mother’s Day is a few days away. It is certainly not a day where I like to do a lot to celebrate. It is actually a day I like to lay low, you know: no car pools, uninterrupted vegging out and watching TV (which I barely get to do) and an amazing meal with my family is truly all I need. I love the handmade cards and I save them every year, because I know there will come a time when the hand-made cards signed with hand prints will come to an end and Hallmark will take over. I also love the effort put into making me a great meal and or taking me to one of my favorite restaurants to end my blissful day. So what will this years mother’s day entail, only time will tell, as my kids have been drilling me with questions for the past few days on what I’d like to do and my husband has asked as well, so we will see.
As much as I like to think about relaxing I also like to reflect. Reflect on how thankful I am, because I am only able to be the mom I am because of my mom. My mom has taught me how to love unconditionally, allow my children to be themselves with no apologies and she has taught me the importance of ‘guiding’ them. I stress ‘guiding’ because really that is my job. I can not tell my children who to be and or how to be. I can only teach and guide them so they can be the best they can be to lead fulfilling lives and more importantly their purpose.
I remember growing up my mom allowed me to experience many different things so that I could see what I actually liked. I went to dance class (tap, jazz and ballet) I ran track, I did a little modeling and acting and played the clarinet. All of these things kept me busy and some for years! At about 13 years old my mom said I had to choose what I wanted to focus on, as I am sure running me around to all of these places was growing weary for her. I decided I wanted to run and that’s what I focused on. I went on to receive a scholarship to college and became an all-american. Little did I know this life lesson would come back to me again through my 15-year-old. She has been playing tennis since she was five and dabbled in theatre, gymnastics, ballet, volleyball, track and basketball. Her first year of HS she had just about every athletic coach wanting her on their team for a lot of sports outside of tennis. I told her that I think she should focus on tennis but I will let her decide. She choose basketball. It was one of those times that as a parent I just had to let her learn on her own.
As tempting as it was for me to pull the, “I am your mother and you will do what I say” card, I didn’t. Long story short she took six to seven months off from tennis to play basketball. However when she started tennis back up again in the spring she was truly disappointed. Here she was now, in the sport that she loved, trying to play catch up when she was used to being on top of her game. This did not sit too well with her, so it allowed her to refocus and commit like never before.
As tough as it was to let her decide I am glad I did. I definitely won’t hear the “but if you would have let me do this, then maybe…” later. She now has a new fire lit under her tail to play tennis that I couldn’t have put there if I wanted to, because this is coming from within her. I am proud of her and proud that as a mom I knew when to step back and just be there and I thank my mom for that very gift that I am now able to pass on to my children. So to all of you mothers out there, don’t forget that we are here to teach, guide and love. I hope that this reflection is a blessing to you as it was for me. Have a Happy Mother’s Day and remember you have the hardest, yet greatest job here on earth!
Three main tips in creating a Healthy Marriage are:
1- Keep God First
2- Family second
3- Then everything else…
God and Prayer. You may have often heard a family that prays together stays together. There is truth to that. Most successful marriages the couples pray together and hold themselves to a standard of morals and values. Even Steve Harvey has stated in his book, Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man, “If you meet a man who doesn’t have a relationship with God…then it’s a problem.” (Side-note: single ladies or dating to get married ladies, if you go out on a date and he doesn’t regularly pray over his food…*redflag* Ok now back to blogging)… A man should have a relationship with God, and that way you know if He is following God you could be submissive and follow him. Is this code for him to control you? No, but you know if your spouse has the right relationship with God it will in turn be more than beneficial to you. It says in the bible that Husbands should treat their wives as Jesus does the church, therefore upholding the wife with respect not demanding her to be the way the husband wants, it simply means letting God lead you both. If He is not leading you both there could be some issues at hand. So why pray? It is your souls food. Praying allows for your soul to be strengthened, your mind to be renewed, so you can do things God’s way and in agreement with His plan and purpose for your life and marriage. It affords your marriage to have a continued lease on life, while allowing growth and a foundation that can not be broke down. Just as you have to eat daily to live you have to pray daily and work on your marriage daily, there is no way around it. Like anything what you put in is what you get out.
Family. You will realize if you have ever had hardships, family are usually the last people standing with you. Family can also be friends. I always believe friends are your chosen family. So choose wisely, everyone is not deserving of a front row in your life. But for your immediate family, prioritize, being their for your spouse, your kids because when they are in need they should be second to none other than God. During this day and age too many people are putting careers ahead of their children and spouses. It is ruining marriages and relationships with kids. Cancel that lunch meeting and have a love lunch with your spouse. Put down your phones and pick up a conversation and engage with you kids and spouse. You only get one chance at raising your children, there are no do-overs, so why not make the best of it and be present? Your job will and can replace you, but your relationships and priorities with your family will always be there, it is up to you to make them worth cherishing.
Everything else… When all of the above is in order, well then there is everything else. Yes everything else will fall strategically into place because following steps one and two His perfect plan is in motion. All of the unimportant things will fall by the waist side and whats important will be your guide and focus. Blessings will begin to flow and you will only be left astonished as to how good God is and how living in His perfect (balance) is what life is really all about. Your marriage will flourish, your children will prosper and your work will be great. You will be beyond rich and if you don’t believe me, just try it and keep me posted on what happens… I love hearing about how good God is!
“When will she ever have that baby? Is she still pregnant? Has she dropped the load yet? This is taking too long, it feels like Jessica Simpson‘s pregnancy!” These are just some of the one liners we all heard while we were all waiting for Jessica to deliver her first-born. Well comment no more, she is finally here, baby Maxwell. I wasn’t shocked at the name, she wouldn’t be the first celebrity to name her daughter with a boy’s name. Holly Robinson Peete took to twitter saying, “For real I am crushing on Jessica Simpson’s baby girl’s name Maxwell! Then again I named my girl Ryan… #loveboysnamesforgirls congrats!” I think Maxwell is kinda cute too and you know she will be called Max, adorable!!!
Here are some shots of her during her pregnancy and I look forward to seeing her transformation post pregnancy, because we all know there will be one.
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As I remind my readers often, there are no shortcuts to losing post baby weight. Healthy eating and exercising and keeping a daily regimen will help anyone accomplish a productive weight loss. My motto is keep it tight and right and you can check out some of those tips by clicking here.
Divorce has been running rampant in the news and the latest story has been with Pilar and Deion Sanders. Unfortunately in this case, kids are involved and perhaps most would say the kids are too involved. From the arrests, the twitter posting of a picture of them filing police reports about their mom, literally made my heart drop. Should the kids have seen the conflict the parents were having? No. Have they witnessed what seems to be a bitter divorce taking place? Yes. Unfortunately this is not the first or the last time children will witness such instances.
I have never been divorced (thank God for His grace) but I have seen divorces occur to a lot of friends who are near and dear. I have seen amicable divorces take place and others, not so much. I think the main theme where I have seen better results is when the children’s best interest were taken into consideration by both parents. Children need both parents and their parent-child relationship to stay in tact. Failing to insulate the children from the parent’s conflicts with one another will only harm the kids and teach them that problems can’t be solved. We all know that children learn by what you do, not what you say, right?
Children should be shown how to solve conflict despite the parent’s differences. The worst thing that could happen to a child from a broken home is that they feel responsible for the breakup. These feelings cause extreme stress and a sense of insecurity for the child. Protecting them should be the parents main objective which means, not fighting in front of the child, do not interfere with the child’s relationship or love for the other parent, and never put them in the position to where the child has to take sides. Parents going through a divorce desperately need to realize that divorce is NOT the children’s problem, it is the parents.
There are things that can be done, that will take a lot of maturity when dealing with the stress of divorce. It is no longer about the parent’s feelings. Parents should start telling their feelings how to feel so they can encourage constructive relationships. Harping on what, how and why a parent did whatever will not undo what has been done. Sometimes in the thick of things parents have to grab themselves by the bootstraps, cut the loss in the marriage and be open to new and greater things, yes greater things! Reassure your children that you are happy when they are enjoying their other parent. Kids need to feel loved and be loved despite the parents going through a hard time that has been said to be equivalent to a death.
Find a support System. When going through such a hard time you need support. Becoming a single parent and or having shared custody can be difficult. Kids can try and play both sides of the fence, depending on their ages, and if the parents don’t agree on anything it can become a co-parenting nightmare. Parents should agree to how they will co-parent and how decisions will be made for the children, no matter how big or small decisions may be. These parenting guidelines should be consistent in both homes so the kids can continue to have stability, which is not a suggestion it is a need. If you can’t agree, get a mediator to help determine this agreement, a pastor, social worker and or counselor. Not only will you need support with kids, but also you will need a break at times, emotionally, physically and mentally. That’s when your closest friends and family come in, help prepare a meal or two, relieve you and give you some time off from the kids so that you can continue to get yourself back to a place of stability.
5 Tips to Help Protect Your Kids When Going Through A Divorce:
1-Keep their best interest first (constantly remind yourself their interest are paramount)
2- Reassure them it is not their fault
3- Encourage good relationships with the other parent
4- Follow through with agreed co-parenting guidelines
5- Do not allow child to play role as caretaker, make sure you have outside support (Family, friends & or counselor)
